I was reminded of the song Suicidal Tendencies “Institutionalized” and thought back to several years ago when I reworked the lyrics to cover my career in IT:
Sometimes I try to code things, and it just don’t turn out the way I wanted to and I get real frustrated, it’s like, I take my time and I try real hard, but no matter what I do and no matter what I try it never compiles it’s like I concentrate on it real hard, but it never works out, it’s like I need some time to figure these things out, but there’s always my boss there going:
- Hey Dan, you know, we been noticing you’ve been having alot of bugs lately, you know, and like maybe you should have a conference-call about it, you’d feel alot better.
And I go:
- No, it’s ok, I now have some bugs, I’ll figure it out myself, just leave me alone I’ll figure it out.
And they go:
- Why don’t you conference-call about it, you’ll feel alot better?
And I go:
- No, I don’t want to, just leave me alone, I’ll figure it out myself! And they keep on bugging me and it builds up inside, it builds up inside… So you’re gonna be downsized
You’ll come out jobless with bloodshot eyes
You won’t have any say
They’ll demote you until you see their way
I’m not crazy – downsized
You’re the one who’s crazy – downsized
You’re driving me crazy – downsized
They stuck me in on 2 week probation
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the market and myself
I was sitting in my cube, and I was like staring at the walls thinking about
everything but then again I was thinking about nothing, and then my PM* came
in and I didn’t notice she was there and she calls my name and I didn’t hear
her and then she started screaming:
- Dan, Dan!
And I go:
- What, what’s the matter?
She goes:
- What’s the matter with you?
I say:
- Nothing PM.
She goes:
- Don’t tell me nothing, you’re on the project plan!
I go:
- No PM, I’m not on the plan, I’m ok, I’m just thinking, you know, why don’t you get me a requirement?
She goes:
- No, you’re on the plan, you’re on probation, normal coders won’t be acting that way!
I go:
- PM, I’m all right, I’m just thinking, you know, so why don’t you, like give me a requirement?
And she goes:
- No, you’re crazy!
All I wanted was a requirement, just one doc, and she wouldn’t give it to me, just one requirement.
They give you a white shirt with a blue tie
Knotted around you’re neck, you’re treated like thieves
Make you stay late because they’re lazy
It’s too much work to help a coder
I’m not crazy – downsized
You’re the one who’s crazy – downsized
You’re driving me crazy – downsized
They stuck me in an project plan
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the market, myself
I was sitting in my cube and my PM and my boss came in and they pulled up a
chair and they sat down, they go:
- Dan, we need to talk to you.
And I said:
- Okay, what’s the matter?
They go:
- Well me and your PM, we been noticing lately you’ve been having alot of bugs, and you haven’t been acting like yourself, and we’re afraid that you’re going to interview with somebody, and we’re afraid that you’re gonna hurt our product, so we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need…
And I said:
- Wait, what are we talking about?! We decided?! My best interest?! How can you know, how can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to say? I’m crazy? When I went to your meetings, I worked with your project plans, I went to your sales kick off meetings. So how can you say that I’m crazy?
They say they’re gonna fix my code
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I’ll be dead
I’m not crazy – downsized
You’re the one who’s crazy – downsized
You’re driving me crazy – downsized
They stuck me in an project plan
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the market, myself
