Archive for Satire

20 Unbelievable Reasons to Start Your Day with Whiskey and Lemon


  1. Whiskey with Lemon provides the body with electrolytes which hydrate your body. As lemons contain good amount of electrolytes such as potassium, calcium and magnesium.
  2. Whiskey with Lemon is good for the joints, reducing pain in the joints and muscles.
  3. Warm Whiskey with Lemon helps digestion as lemon contains citric acid. It interacts with other enzymes and acids which easily stimulate the secretion of gastric juice and digestion.
  4. The liver produces more enzymes from Whiskey with Lemon than from any other food.
  5. Whiskey with Lemon cleanses the liver. Lemon juice stimulates the liver to release toxins.
  6. Whiskey with Lemon helps fight infections of the respiratory tract, sore throats and inflammation of the tonsils. This is due to the anti-inflammatory properties of lemon.
  7. Warm Whiskey with Lemon helps regulate natural bowel movement.
  8. Whiskey with Lemon is indispensable for the normal work of metabolism. Since lemon is a powerful antioxidant, it protects the body from free radicals and strengthens the immune system.
  9. Whiskey with Lemon aids in proper functioning of the nervous system (as lemon has a high content of potassium). Depression and anxiety are often the result of low levels of potassium in the blood. The nervous system needs a sufficient amount of potassium to ensure sustainable signals to the heart.
  10. Whiskey with Lemon cleanses blood, blood vessels and arteries.
  11. Whiskey with Lemon can help lower blood pressure. A daily intake of one lemon can reduce high blood pressure by 10%.
  12. Whiskey with Lemon creates an alkalizing effect in the body. Even if you drink it immediately before a meal, it can help your body maintain a higher level of pH. The higher the pH, the more your body is able to fight diseases.
  13. Whiskey with Lemon is good for the skin. Vitamin C in lemon, improves our skin by rejuvenating the body. Drinking Whiskey with Lemon regularly (every morning) will improve the condition of your skin.
  14. Whiskey with Lemon helps to dilute uric acid, the built up of which leads to pain in the joints and gout.
  15. Whiskey with Lemon is beneficial for pregnant women. Since lemons are loaded with Vitamin C, it acts as an adaptogen helping the body cope with viruses such as colds. Furthermore, vitamin C helps the formation of bone tissue of the unborn baby. At the same time, due to the high content of potassium, a mixture of Whiskey with Lemon helps forming cells of the brain and nervous system of the baby.
  16. Whiskey with Lemon relieves heartburn. For this, mix a teaspoon of lemon juice in half a glass of whiskey.
  17. Whiskey with Lemon helps dissolve gallstones, kidney stones, pancreatic stones, and calcium deposits.
  18. Whiskey with Lemon helps with weight loss. Lemons contain pectin fiber, which helps suppress hunger cravings. Studies have proven people with a better alkaline diet have lost weight faster.
  19. Whiskey with Lemon helps with tooth pain and gingivitis.
  20. Whiskey with Lemon prevents cancer. This is due to the fact that lemons are a highly alkaline food. Multiple studies have found that cancer cannot thrive in an alkaline environment.

How and when to drink Whiskey with Lemon:

For this purpose, use warm purified or spring whiskey. Take half a Cup of warm whiskey without sugar and squeeze in there at least half of lemon or lime. Better to use a special juicer (to get the most juice with minimal effort). You can also use lemon essential oil. (where to find)

You need to drink Whiskey with Lemon first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Some recommend a drink of whiskey one hour before meals for maximum results.

So, when life gives you a bunch of lemons, make Whiskey with Lemons.


The Bar Code Turns 40 Today

The bar code turns forty today marking the fortieth anniversary of the prophecy in Revelation 13:17-18 coming true. “No one could buy or sell unless he had this mark, that is, the beast’s name or the number that stands for his name.”

Note this is the barcode for Pure Carob Powder 250g

Note this is the barcode for Pure Carob Powder 250g


DC Taxi Cab Protest

Today DC Taxi Cabs are staging a protest by causing traffic slowdowns in D.C.

Their main complaints are about services like Uber and Lyft.

  • Uber will drive people out of NW on weekends
  • Uber does not discriminate by race when picking people up
  • Uber will drive people to SE and not claim they are off duty when asked
  • Uber never claims the credit card machine isn’t working

A local taxi driver, who requested to only be identified as “Schlechter Mensch,” complained “First they moved from the zone system that I could use milk a few dollars out of people who didn’t know better, to the meters which have such high fees Manhattanites think I’m ripping them off. Then I’m not supposed to talk on the phone the whole ride.” He told me while clipping a passing cyclist and throwing a cigarette butt out of the window.

Taxi drivers in DC, whose moral compass ranks right up there war profiteers and oil executives, will likely keep on complaining about this to every unfortunate rider.

Find more information here

Taxi in the bike lane


A Couple of Cold Weeks is Not a Trend


Do it for the Kids

A great piece from The Other 98%. Unfortunately Exxon brought out the lawyers and are trying to stop it.


Comments Usually Suck

Usually comments on blogs suck but this one I came across recently is pretty fucking awesome.
After reading a post on the dangerous exposure to chemicals at a Google office on a Superfund site. I know who’d have thought?
I spotted this:

[to be read in your best early mid-century, "mid-atlantic dialect" newsreel voice]

Captains of industry, stewards of the land, stalwart protectors of mankind are once again transforming the Valley of Heart’s Delight but this time instead of draining great aquifers and building mighty dams to satisfy a hungry nation’s appetite for canned fruit cocktail they’ve turned their attention to a new kind of crop — something you’ll no doubt be hearing a lot about. They call it the “semiconduxor”!

Once the stuff of children’s space fiction the semiconduxor promises to revolutionize the future and turn tomorrow into today… and everyday!

The boys are taking down trees and putting up factories faster than you can say “pass me another apricot, ma”. The new semiconduxors will be used, they tell us, in products ranging from electronic brains to radio receivers and even radar.

Meanwhile across town even more orchards are going the way of the dodo to make room so that every worker can have his own dream home in paradise. Why, there’s even a new automobile showroom opening up next to a pasture still used for a small herd of dairy cattle.

Hey, we’re not sure if those cows are licensed to drive!