Tag Archive for consumerism

In the Spirit of Cyber Monday

For Cyber Monday my family all gathers around a Google Hangout and combines all of our discount codes to take advantage of the one family member with a Prime account. This tradition started in the 1800s when my great-great-grandfather was the first person in his town with an internet connection. Dialup over telegraph, talk about conserving bandwidth he didn’t even load JavaScript or Images and loading Flash would get you removed from the will.

Happy Cyber Monday everyone may your connection be strong, your shopping cart full and discount codes be plentiful.

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D.R.E.A.M.- Dumbasses Rule Everything Around Me

My elections fatigue has now carried over to Black Friday/Cyber Monday.

…and the beat goes on

I’ve pretty much gotten the same email from everybody’s list I’m on that sells something. Consumer rant begin…now—

Thursday: Black Friday a day early on Thursday!
Friday: Black Friday!
Saturday: Black Friday extended
Sunday: Black Friday weekend!!!
Sunday: early Cyber Monday!
Monday: Cyber Monday!
Tuesday: Cyber Monday deals week!
Wednesday: c’mon we’re really super desperate and/or just want to keep suckering you fools.

Oh and worst, most socially irresponsible Wal-mart ad I’ve seen: woman with shopping cart ogling big ticket item, “associate” asks her if he can help load it in the cart, she responds “Oh no, I was just admiring it, I can’t afford it.” Wait for it, associate/savior says “Of course you can, just open up a brand new Wal-mart credit card!!!!” Everyone, “Yaaaaaaay!”
Did we NOT just get ourselves royally fucked from spending what we don’t have? And weren’t we all supposed to learn a big lesson?!
Don’t worry though Wal-mart will be fine, it’ll all just get blamed on OHHBAMA’s  America (very important to stress that ‘ohhh’ when saying said slur, I think it has something to do with over enlarged vocal chords on the extreme right wing, delusional, and/or rednecks.)

Over/out.

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